I Called the Dentist Corrupt. It Did Not Go Well.
I tried to convince them, but they wouldn't listen. Then I tried to save them, and that didn't work either.
This week I’m thinking about a fight I had with an older relative. It started with an innocent mention of their upcoming dentist appointment. Which might sound harmless, but this had been a regular routine (every three months) for years and years. If you were to believe the dentist, their mouth was mission impossible with danger at every turn.
It always seemed to come around to: “Well, we’ll have to try again.”
Then the dentist would launch into another six month plan to upgrade their bridge or replace this or that.
My impulse after hearing about the next monumental dental procedure was to don my cape and swoop into the dental office with fiery rage in my belly, demanding to see the dental plan and make the dentist explain himself.
“The dentist has a business and that’s how he makes money. To always make sure there is something else to fix with your teeth.” I said.
“He’s looking out for me. He’s very good.”
“Ok, but do you really think you need to do this procedure?”
The mood had shifted and suddenly their very integrity hung in the balance.
“What you’re telling me is you think I’m an idiot, not knowing what I’ve been doing for the past twenty years.”
Whoa. We were going there.
“No, I think that it would help to get a second opinion. I’ve never known anyone who goes to the dentist more than you do. You must have the most problematic teeth on the planet.”
The sarcasm and frustration shot out of my mouth from the depths of my tight solar plexus. I tried to pull myself together and steer the conversation back to neutral ground.
“Have you asked if your teeth are good enough the way they are for now? So you can have a break?”
But the hurt arrow had left the bow and it was game over. We hung up and I’ve been wrestling with my part in all this.
I flip and I flop.
Flip: It’s their teeth and if they want to make their dentist visits into a decades long run-on sentence, then so be it.
Flop: That dentist should be in jail for elder abuse!
Flip: If this is what they want, I need to respect their decisions.
Flop: The dentist google reviews say he has an “authoritarian” attitude and doesn’t listen to what the patient wants. I need to get them to another dentist!
The sad part is I haven’t landed on anything that feels great. Letting things happen is not my natural inclination. Letting others get taken advantage of is NOT my go to.
I know this is a lesson for me and it’s not about teeth, dentists, manipulation or discernment. It’s about me being available for others if they need help. It’s about taking care of myself and telling that part of me that needs to save and fix and rescue, that all is well.
And when I move into my body, into my core, I can be of service to others and take care of myself at the same time. And that’s all I can do.