Top 7 Ways People Pleasers Need to Be to Find Their Soulmate (and Stop Attracting Narcissists)

What is a True Soulmate?

If you’re anything like me you’ve followed Spiritual/New Age-ish teachers and websites where healers talked a lot about Soulmates. Back then (circa 2008), the idea of attracting your Soulmate terrified me. “Dark night of the soul” and “mirrors all your darkest stuff back to you” did not conjure up romantic walks on the beach and feelings of bliss. No one in their right mind would want to find a soulmate. That’s why as a Healer who has been around the block and suffered enough Dark Nights of the Soul to choke a horse, I am putting forward a more palatable definition of what I call a True Soulmate. And as someone who has found my True Soulmate, who lights up my life and we’re getting married in December, here is a definition you can go by. Your TRUE SOULMATE is someone who:

  • Is stable and aware in mind/body/soul
  • Cherishes you
  • Understands you
  • Loves you with all their heart
  • Is committed and loyal to you
  • Treats...
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Coronavirus: Musings and Comfort

Obligatory intro statement: I’m not a doctor and this is not medical advice. If you are feeling any symptoms associated with the Coronavirus, seek immediate help from healthcare professionals.

The Coronavirus now has the world’s attention.

Some of you may be thinking, “Oh great, another unstable “non-expert” musing about the virus that is taking over the world. We want science. We want facts. Nothing else matters right now!”

I’m going to keep typing in the hopes that someone will find comfort in my words. I will not be telling you what you should or shouldn’t do in this blog. I will be offering a perspective that may ease your worries and help you feel better. That is my intention.

As the news rolls in about the Coronavirus and the confirmed cases of infected people rises, I’m rolling along myself—on an emotional rollercoaster ride. Some days I’m silently soothing myself with encouraging messages, determined...

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Newly LYT Up Me and My Dark Confession

I wanted to show up and be vulnerable, and so here is me being vulnerable. Gulp.

I worried about sending this because I didn’t want you to think I was lying to you or that I was a fraud. 

The truth is, I haven’t been honest with you. 

(I know what you’re thinking: beware the person who says, let me tell you something, honestly… but I AM telling the truth). 

I’ve blacked out for the past two years...

While I encouraged you:

  • To go after your passions
  • To live life to the fullest
  • To have fun and be yourself no matter what
  • To light yourself on fire

I was NOT doing those things. 

Don’t get me wrong, my life has changed exponentially since 2017. 

I have the most amazing, loving, committed relationship.

I am supporting myself full time with my amazing healing business.

I am in love with myself and I’m proud of who I have become.

I am heading in the direction of my dreams.

BUT, I am also a...

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5 Essential Keys to Finding a Compatible Relationship Within the Next Six Months (Even if You’ve Never Had One)

1.  Nothing will stand in your way: You are NOT going to allow another year to go by being single. You don’t care what needs to be done, you’ll do it. This is happening now! And you’ll do what it takes no matter what.

 You’ll dedicate the time

You’ll get the right kind of support

You’ll show up and do the things that will attract the relationship of your dreams

If you’re not in that kind of energy, you’ll be easily distracted, thrown off by the ups and downs of dating and you’ll give up and go back to “I’m fine being single” before you change enough to bring in the love of your life.

2.  Do something different: This may seem obvious but it needs to be said. Stop doing what you’re doing now. Face it, you haven’t found someone so far and you need to switch it up. Your current beliefs, knowledge, and behaviors are not getting you what you want.

Maybe you’re attracting men,...

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What You Think is Harmless: Is Actually Killing Your Chances to Meet Your True Soul Mate

I’m ok being single.

I like my independence.

I like where I am.

How do often do you say that to yourself to beat back your actual thoughts?

Is he really out there?

Do I deserve to be cherished?

Why am I not attracting the guy?

Looking on the “positive” side …

Making the “best” of the situation …

Staying up beat all the time …

Is Killing your Chances of Meeting Your True Mate

If you’re not willing to admit to yourself how much you want to be met by your beloved,

If you’re not able to declare how much you desire an equal partnership where you cherish each other,

If you can’t even say out loud that you desire to be with a love who respects you,

Then How Will You and the Universe Call in Your Sacred Relationship?

You don’t want to be positive: you want to be taking day trips on weekends with your true love

You don’t want to make the best of being alone for yet another...

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3 Ways to Accept Yourself and Live a Happier Life

Social media is a breeding ground for epically low self-esteem, comparisonitis and basically wishing you were anyone else. Being bombarded on a daily basis by the supermodel instagrammers, the jetsetters who globetrot with their entourage of cats and funny memes and even your colleague with the new blindingly white smile, it’s a wonder we can even get up in the morning.

How do we accept ourselves when everyone else seems to be skinnier, happier and richer or spending time with someone who is skinnier, happier and richer than they are?

Self-acceptance is a magical force—the more we lean into it, the more we flourish and flower and thrive.

Here are 3 ways to start accepting yourself (so you can stop feeling bad by what everyone else is doing) and feel happier in your own skin!

1.  Let go of resistance to what is. Resistance looks like wishing, hoping, denying, criticizing, cursing, raging against, forcing, ridiculing, belittling, shaming, ignoring,...

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5 Ways You May Be Sabotaging Your Healing Journey

Why is it that as humans we create endless ways to kibosh our own health and happiness? Are we just a bunch of weirdos on our way to the Masochist’s Ball?

One surefire way to find out: peruse this list and see how many yeses you tick off. If it’s 5 out of 5 then I’m not sure there is any help for you. Kidding! Awareness is the key to pulling yourself off the merri-go-round of misery and placing you onto the clear path of wholeness and freedom.

Here are five ways you may be stopping yourself from getting there:

1. Blaming others. The easiest thing to do at times is to point your trusty finger at “all the things I didn’t have growing up”, “my family doesn’t support me” or any other reason you deem responsible for your current situation. The act of blaming others robs you of your own personal power and keeps you in a spin cycle of resentment, disappointment, and frustration. When we can accept that we have 100% choice in...

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5 Ways to Feel Like Yourself Again

Just can’t shake that feeling of being totally “off”?

Maybe it’s been a weird day … or week … or most of your thirties bit the big one.

If it seems like you’ve drifted away from who you are … only to find yourself on a desert island of WTF: don’t worry! There is a raft heading your way right now.

First, we need to look at the root cause of why we feel off in the first place. Like how did we end up here with our tattered shirt wrapped around our head, trying to spear fish with our house key?

How did we end up feeling like a completely unrecognizable version of ourselves?

1. What are you doing to throw yourself off?

Take a long hard look at what you’ve been doing in the past few months and weeks (or years) leading up to this lost-self-scenario.

My example would be that I used to take on every project I’d ever wanted to do ALL AT ONCE and proceed to give myself a deadline of yesterday. Time waits...

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If You're Single on Valentine's Day (And You're Sad AF about it)

How do you make it through the day when the whole world is in Love EXCEPT for you?

First of all, you and I both know that not everyone is in love—there are at least two of us sitting here right now and there may be dozens more out there. Regardless of the facts, it IS what Hallmark Cards, Lindt Chocolate and De Beers Diamonds wants you to feel like. Which is why we have to stick together like that saying goes: misery loves company.

Here are my two cents on what it's like to be single on Valentine's Day: it sucks. And any Single who says they don't care is a liar.

1. My promise to you in this letter

  • I will NOT tell you that all you need to do is love yourself.
  • I will NOT tell you to look for the hidden blocks to love that keep you from meeting “The One.”
  • And I certainly WILL NOT tell you how awesome it is to be single.

2. Pick up a Valentine's Day Survival pack

  • 1 box of tissues (let's not even try to deny that this won't be needed at some point).
  • ...
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Three Ways to Stop Devaluing Yourself

Do you ever do things that don't feel very good but that you think you should be doing anyway--to be a good person or to do the right thing? I get it--I just described most of my teens and twenties. The problem with behaving in ways that don't feel good is that you are not valuing yourself. We get so wrapped up in being the good daughter or the perfect employee or the helpful citizen that we lose sight of our own needs and desires. That is the ultimate devaluing practice. The consequences are far reaching; we may feel depressed, unfulfilled, anxious, bitter, resentful or just plain exhausted.

Here are three ways that you may not be valuing yourself and exercises that you can do to practice self-love instead:

1. Constant Improvements. If you are like me, you enjoy the practice of self-improvement and personal development. However, we can fall into the trap where we get so determined to improve this and improve that, that we don't stop and say, "This feeling is ok" or "I'm ok the...

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