Top 7 Ways People Pleasers Need to Be to Find Their Soulmate (and Stop Attracting Narcissists)

What is a True Soulmate?

If you’re anything like me you’ve followed Spiritual/New Age-ish teachers and websites where healers talked a lot about Soulmates. Back then (circa 2008), the idea of attracting your Soulmate terrified me. “Dark night of the soul” and “mirrors all your darkest stuff back to you” did not conjure up romantic walks on the beach and feelings of bliss. No one in their right mind would want to find a soulmate. That’s why as a Healer who has been around the block and suffered enough Dark Nights of the Soul to choke a horse, I am putting forward a more palatable definition of what I call a True Soulmate. And as someone who has found my True Soulmate, who lights up my life and we’re getting married in December, here is a definition you can go by. Your TRUE SOULMATE is someone who:

  • Is stable and aware in mind/body/soul
  • Cherishes you
  • Understands you
  • Loves you with all their heart
  • Is committed and loyal to you
  • Treats...
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How to Have Mutually Loving Relationships (Without Abandoning or Sabotaging Yourself)

The People Pleaser Dilemma

If you’re a self-professed people pleaser like I am, you are sensitive and have big love to share! The problem is you also have a big fear that if you reveal your True Self, you will end up alone. So you do your utmost to twist into an emotional pretzel and make everything smooth in your relationships or potential relationships. When you abandon yourself to make others happy, they know this on some level and they either a) reject you or b) make you feel alone within the relationship. You are not experiencing true love and intimacy. Nobody is being real. So how do you turn this around to finally relax, be yourself and feel loved?

Be Aware of Your Heart 

Easy to talk about, I know, believe me. I ignored my body from the neck down for the first twenty-three years of my life to the detriment of my relationships (all dysfunctional and painful), my body (chronic digestive and skin issues) and mind (negative outlook and mood swings) and soul...

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These 3 Fears Could Be Stopping You From Speaking Your Truth

If your mouth feels like it’s sealed with super glue every time you attempt to tell a loved one how you really feel or when you try to tell your boss what you really want, you are not alone. Today, I want to share 3 fears that could be stopping you from speaking your truth.

For the first 30 years of my life, I could’ve had a very successful career as a mime. When I attempted to make my voice heard, I would quickly revert to the smile and nod move instead. 

Not being able to communicate who you really are when it counts drains you. You feel exhausted. You feel down. You feel insignificant and alone. And you certainly can’t create a life you want by staying silent. 

Overcome These Fears

I don’t want you to continue to suffer in silence which is why I wrote this post--to give you the knowledge that will give you the tools to overcome these fears. I’ve seen these fears trip up my clients and I struggled with them for years until I...

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How to Know If You’re Lying to Yourself (And What It’s Truly Costing You)

If you spend a lot of time rewriting your to-do list for the next day


If you like to be super prepared and organized before doing anything

If your family, partner, friends, boss or other obligations seem to take up all your time

You’ve been lying to yourself

If you tell yourself that you will get to what you really want tomorrow, or next week or next month


If you spend a lot of time saying affirmations, making vision boards or writing out goals, but they never seem to change your life


If you feel too tired, frustrated or emotionally drained to get to what’s really important to you

You’ve been lying to yourself

 

How to Know for Sure: Ways to Spot the Lie

Unexplained anxiety despite doing all the things


Chronic aches and pains that pop up every time you decide to move forward

Things go wrong and you have setbacks, bad luck and life feels overwhelming


You feel frustrated and angry because you never seem to get to where you want to go

...

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Inner Child Temper Tantrums, Carbs and Self-Improvement

Have you ever done any kind of cleanse, diet or fasting regime? I’m guessing if you’re a human being walking this earth, you have.

Well, get ready to laugh along with me or at me (I’ll never know which one it is, so go for it).

I’ve been on a 22 day program to reset my metabolism, because I “suddenly” woke up one day to realize that my waist was expanding out in all directions. I can’t blame this on the Coronavirus Indoor Eating Plan: my love of doing nothing coupled with my love of carbohydrates in the form of potatoes and bread has been a lifelong love affair.

As a half Irish, half Italian/Croatian mix, bread, pasta and potatoes are my religion!! I was never in danger of being too skinny. The only difference is that in my youth I kept the fat at bay with cigarettes and excessive worrying—that’s a real fat burner if ever I came across one.

So, what does a health conscious and determined type A individual with a slight...

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Coronavirus: Musings and Comfort

Obligatory intro statement: I’m not a doctor and this is not medical advice. If you are feeling any symptoms associated with the Coronavirus, seek immediate help from healthcare professionals.

The Coronavirus now has the world’s attention.

Some of you may be thinking, “Oh great, another unstable “non-expert” musing about the virus that is taking over the world. We want science. We want facts. Nothing else matters right now!”

I’m going to keep typing in the hopes that someone will find comfort in my words. I will not be telling you what you should or shouldn’t do in this blog. I will be offering a perspective that may ease your worries and help you feel better. That is my intention.

As the news rolls in about the Coronavirus and the confirmed cases of infected people rises, I’m rolling along myself—on an emotional rollercoaster ride. Some days I’m silently soothing myself with encouraging messages, determined...

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Unhinged Conversations: Corona Confusion

I’m riding the Coronavirus wave like everyone else and spending unhealthy amounts of time scrolling through Facebook or Instagram, looking for that one gem of wisdom that will make it all ok.

From what I can see, there are some very distinct philosophies to answer the question on everyone's mind: "Why the Eff Are We Going Through This?"
(none of which make it ok by any stretch of the imagination, but here goes)

Unhinged Conversations on the Internet

1. The world is being taken over by aliens and we best let them arrest the bad Illuminati people whilst we wait at home for the big announcement.

2. Mother earth has had it with us and while she detoxes, we are all in a timeout for being bad.

3. Survival of the fittest is reducing the surface population.

4. A group of bad people have created this virus in a lab as part of their biological warfare to get their grubby mitts on the world’s resources.

Which one would you choose? I’m going with Number...

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Newly LYT Up Me and My Dark Confession

I wanted to show up and be vulnerable, and so here is me being vulnerable. Gulp.

I worried about sending this because I didn’t want you to think I was lying to you or that I was a fraud. 

The truth is, I haven’t been honest with you. 

(I know what you’re thinking: beware the person who says, let me tell you something, honestly… but I AM telling the truth). 

I’ve blacked out for the past two years...

While I encouraged you:

  • To go after your passions
  • To live life to the fullest
  • To have fun and be yourself no matter what
  • To light yourself on fire

I was NOT doing those things. 

Don’t get me wrong, my life has changed exponentially since 2017. 

I have the most amazing, loving, committed relationship.

I am supporting myself full time with my amazing healing business.

I am in love with myself and I’m proud of who I have become.

I am heading in the direction of my dreams.

BUT, I am also a...

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How to Deal with Anxiety Without Becoming A Character in The Mindy Project

Anxiety is no joke. Just take a look at what the characters on The Mindy Project go through on a daily basis: hidden skeletons (think Danny’s stripper thong), mammoth misunderstandings (Peter didn’t go to Dartmouth) and high pressure shenanigans (Mindy goes to California).

Thankfully, we don’t have to down bottles of wine or bribe people or hide under desks to cope with life’s ups and downs (although I do admire Mindy’s way with words).

We can handle our mangled nerves in a much more effective way. Here is a technique that I put into practice to soothe my anxiety. Try it and see—you’ll be amazed at how much it will change your experiences!

Mantras

Mantras: phrases or words that help you reach a desired state of being. For example, the mantra “OM”. Look up some Sanskrit words or phrases to find the ones that suit you best. These mantras allow you to focus and return to a calmer state of being.

Repeat them out loud, in...

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5 Surprising Blocks to Healing Anxiety for Good (And What to Do Instead)

Anxiety overshadows every area of your life. Not only do you wake up to waves of dread every morning …
When you go to work you feel like no one likes you …


You feel resentful of those who seem to have it so easy …

AND

To top it all off, you’re exhausted by the constant aches and pains and lack of sleep!

So, you’ve taken the bull by the horns.

You decided that you’re not going to sit around and let the anxiety get the better of you.

You developed some ways to manage and cope with these terrible symptoms.

You feel pretty happy about it—they seem like good strategies and you are very dedicated to doing them every day.

The problem is:  YOUR ANXIETY IS WORSE THAN EVER

WAKE UP CALL: These strategies are blocking you from healing your anxiety.

How? Because you are creating habits that pull you away from healing the root cause.

The root cause is the central limiting belief, thought pattern, habit, childhood wound and/or...

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