Are you ready to say Bye Felicia to the Dumpster fire that is 2020?
We CAN be grateful for things that shifted for the better this year and still be incredibly relieved to see the back end of 2020!
This is a review of my year so you can think about it for yourself and tune into what you want to take into 2021 and what you want to leave behind.
My 2020 in Review: Lessons and Ups and Downs
January: I decided to take my presently 100% online healing business to the streets. I mapped out the entire year for workshops, retreats and in-person venues. Feeling pretty excited and confident. I told my clients that I would be stopping 1:1 work and focusing on group experiences and in person work.
February: Finishing up with clients and making the transition to in-person life. Hearing grumblings of a strange flu in China. I decide to dismiss this as paranoia and hey, it’s China, so far away and hope all is well, but not going to let it worry me. We find out our dog...
How to Identify the Relationship Patterns that Keep You from Having a Loving Relationship
If you read my last blog post, you now know what a Toxic Relationship Merri-Go-Round looks like. Mostly. I left out the in-between parts...
The Components of a Toxic Relationship Merri-Go-Round
The Toxic Relationship: relationships where you don’t feel safe to be your true self and/or where the other person takes up all the space and you feel invisible and small and unsafe.
The Isolation Period: you are single and licking your wounds from the last toxic relationship and feel afraid of attracting someone like that again; all you want to do is be alone and recover (this can last for years and decades--I had one that lasted 10 years)
Maybe This Time Will Be Different/Try Again: you’ve felt a surge of bravery and hope either from encouragement or you’ve turned a corner and did some healing work; you are ready to try again
Loop around to putting yourself out there and...
Anxiety overshadows every area of your life. Not only do you wake up to waves of dread every morning …
When you go to work you feel like no one likes you …
You feel resentful of those who seem to have it so easy …
To top it all off, you’re exhausted by the constant aches and pains and lack of sleep!
So, you’ve taken the bull by the horns.
You decided that you’re not going to sit around and let the anxiety get the better of you.
You developed some ways to manage and cope with these terrible symptoms.
You feel pretty happy about it—they seem like good strategies and you are very dedicated to doing them every day.
The problem is: YOUR ANXIETY IS WORSE THAN EVER
WAKE UP CALL: These strategies are blocking you from healing your anxiety.
How? Because you are creating habits that pull you away from healing the root cause.
The root cause is the central limiting belief, thought pattern, habit, childhood wound and/or...
Circa 1996—I’m twenty-two years old.
Scene: My doctor’s office
[This mysterious diagnosis came after two years of non-stop invasive testing that brought me closer to my bowel movements than anyone ever should be. My chronic symptoms—extreme pain and diarrhea—seemed to point to some type of cancer or a need for surgery. The stress and worry had rendered me a complete wreck. I braced myself.]
Doctor: You have IBS.
Doctor: Irritable Bowel Syndrome. It’s mostly caused by stress, nothing to worry about. It’ll go away once you get settled in life.
He pats me on the shoulder. My doctor delivered me into this world—and that is the only reason he didn’t get an East Vancouver knuckle sandwich that day.
Present time—I’m older than twenty-two.
Since my diagnosis, I’ve been on quite a ride and most of it has involved a toilet bowl of some sort.
I’m assuming that if you’re reading...
Sometimes life really sucks. Maybe you’re going through a divorce or your child is sick or you’re sick. Basically, you’re on your hands and knees either praying or searching the floor for answers. How on earth do you deal with this pile of lemons that life handed you? You certainly don’t run out and get all the equipment to make lemonade.
Hold on! First and foremost, you need to process the situation and get to a strong enough place to be able to make the gosh-darn lemonade. Here is the process that I use to recover from lemon sh*t storms (eg. ugly breakups, health challenges and/or financial crises):
1. Don’t sugar coat it. Yes, of course, a positive attitude is necessary in life and your attitude and choices do make a difference. However, when you’re lying face down in the dirt, you certainly don’t want some Pollyanna to come along and say, “Just look at the bright side.” Clear the...
What’s the fastest path to joy and peace? Laughter. From the very first time I had a giggle fit at the age of six and subsequently split my head open on the baseboard from laughing so hard, I was hooked. Laughter did something for my soul that nothing else could and it still guides me through all my challenges in life. This is why I firmly subscribe to this tenet: laughter is the best medicine.
And that ain’t no joke.
If laughter and humor is so great, then how can we use this transformational elixir to heal our wounds?
1. Go back to your childhood. Don’t worry this is not about uncovering any hidden psychological hangups—we are looking for the funny. What made you laugh back then? If your uncle slipped down the stairs one winter and you found that hysterical—that’s one example. Did your brother pee on your babysitter? What made you laugh until it hurt? Bring up these memories and join in on the fun again. Think about those times and...