Truly Eleanor Blog

Why is it that as humans we create endless ways to kibosh our own health and happiness? Are we just a bunch of weirdos on our way to the Masochist’s Ball?

One surefire way to find out: peruse this list and see how many yeses you tick off. If it’s 5 out of 5 then I’m not sure there is any help for you. Kidding! Awareness is the key to pulling yourself off the merri-go-round of misery and placing you onto the clear path of wholeness and freedom.

Here are five ways you may be stopping yourself from getting there:

1. Blaming others. The easiest thing to do at times is to point your trusty finger at “all the things I didn’t have growing up”, “my family doesn’t support me” or any other reason you deem responsible for your current situation. The act of blaming others robs you of your own personal power and keeps you in a spin cycle of resentment, disappointment, and frustration. When we can accept that we have 100% choice in...

Just can’t shake that feeling of being totally “off”?

Maybe it’s been a weird day … or week … or most of your thirties bit the big one.

If it seems like you’ve drifted away from who you are … only to find yourself on a desert island of WTF: don’t worry! There is a raft heading your way right now.

First, we need to look at the root cause of why we feel off in the first place. Like how did we end up here with our tattered shirt wrapped around our head, trying to spear fish with our house key?

How did we end up feeling like a completely unrecognizable version of ourselves?

1. What are you doing to throw yourself off?

Take a long hard look at what you’ve been doing in the past few months and weeks (or years) leading up to this lost-self-scenario.

My example would be that I used to take on every project I’d ever wanted to do ALL AT ONCE and proceed to give myself a deadline of yesterday. Time waits...

One summer afternoon, Mind and Body watch the sun dance on the water.

Although the scenery is peaceful and lovely, Mind is irritated with Body, as usual.

“You’re getting quite hefty,” Mind observes, sweeping her eyes over Body disapprovingly.

“What would you know? You’ve never been anything more than a bunch of thoughts. You don’t understand the physical. You’re all up in your head all the time.”

“A big FAT head, you’re right about that,” Mind shoots back.

Body folds her arms and turns away from Mind. Her stomach tightens. Ice cream would be good right now. Anything to override this tension.  

What does Mind know anyway? It’s not easy being flesh and blood.

Mind can’t handle a fifth of the nasty shit Body puts up with on the regular.
Body remarks coldly, “You’ve never felt anything in your life. You just THINK you have.” Body chuckles at her cleverness. 

Mind stews over this for...

Have you ever wondered if your spiritual efforts are of any use? I mean, is there really a point to any of it? I wonder the same thing almost every day. Which is why I invite you into my psyche (not psycho, psyche) for a quick visit. I wouldn’t stay very long or things will get a bit weird. I hardly know you.

As long as you promise to get in and get out, I will open up the curtain to the inner workings of my mind. Think of it as a bizarre meetup group that you wish you’d never gone to.

But seriously, I hope you enjoy this pointless, fictional illustration of the ups and downs of being on a spiritual journey. After you read it, I’m sure you’ll agree that you should just give it all up and become a professional poker player.

________________________________________________________________________________

Armed with my oracle cards, rain coat and reusable coffee mug, I begin to ascend my Mt Everest of UNWORTHINESS.

Halfway up, I stumble, twisting my...

How do you make it through the day when the whole world is in Love EXCEPT for you?

First of all, you and I both know that not everyone is in love—there are at least two of us sitting here right now and there may be dozens more out there. Regardless of the facts, it IS what Hallmark Cards, Lindt Chocolate and De Beers Diamonds wants you to feel like. Which is why we have to stick together like that saying goes: misery loves company.

Here are my two cents on what it's like to be single on Valentine's Day: it sucks. And any Single who says they don't care is a liar.

1. My promise to you in this letter

• I will NOT tell you that all you need to do is love yourself.
• I will NOT tell you to look for the hidden blocks to love that keep you from meeting “The One.”
• And I certainly WILL NOT tell you how awesome it is to be single.

2. Pick up a Valentine's Day Survival pack

• 1 box of tissues (let's not even try to deny that this won't be needed at some point).
• ...

I love this time of year. I celebrate Christmas and as with any holiday we may be celebrating, there is nothing better than traditions. Here is what creates meaning for me:

1. Holiday baking party with friends. As a Registered Holistic Nutritionist with part Italian heritage, I obviously love food! It is no exaggeration when I say that an entire phone conversation with my mom or my nana can be about food--how we prepared it, what ingredients we used and how much we enjoyed it. Aside from cooking I also adore baking. My version of baking that is (think healthier versions, whole food ingredients and organic ingredients). For the past five years I host a party where I get together with some baking enthusiasts and we whisk stuff, blend more stuff and lick spoons for a couple of fun-filled hours. Note: not all recipes turn out, like the time we created a glass casserole dish full of fruit soup with a soggy oatmeal bottom (our unfortunate version of berry cobbler). C'est la vie.

...

Do people try to talk you out of doing something that seems impossible? Do they tell you it's a waste of time? Well after watching this you can tell them where to go! There is no such thing as impossible...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVOl7VjYWLU

Here are some tips on how to navigate cringe-worthy conversations and interactions as an Empowered People Pleaser in the making. Yes, you CAN get there!
 

The Familiar Knee Jerk Behaviour

• You swallow that lump in your throat called anger/annoyance/hurt because you don’t want to upset anyone by being upset.

Welcome to my teens and most of my twenties. At the time I imagined myself on my deathbed, accommodating my loved ones, gasping out these words: "It's rush hour. No worries, I'll wait."
 

The All Too Familiar Scenario

• I’m standing in a really long line-up and someone boldly steps in front of me.

People Pleaser response: You roll your eyes, but of course you don't let the unscrupulous person see this—that would be rude!

Empowered People Pleaser response: “I was in front of you. The line is back there."
 

The All Too Familiar Scenario Number Two

• A friend says they’ll call you back and then they don't. Then they...

Do you ever do things that don't feel very good but that you think you should be doing anyway--to be a good person or to do the right thing? I get it--I just described most of my teens and twenties. The problem with behaving in ways that don't feel good is that you are not valuing yourself. We get so wrapped up in being the good daughter or the perfect employee or the helpful citizen that we lose sight of our own needs and desires. That is the ultimate devaluing practice. The consequences are far reaching; we may feel depressed, unfulfilled, anxious, bitter, resentful or just plain exhausted.

Here are three ways that you may not be valuing yourself and exercises that you can do to practice self-love instead:

1. Constant Improvements. If you are like me, you enjoy the practice of self-improvement and personal development. However, we can fall into the trap where we get so determined to improve this and improve that, that we don't stop and say, "This feeling is ok" or "I'm ok the...

Phase one: Other/Comparison/Jealousy/

If I was you
I'd be much better off.

Your grass grows greener
(like an envious brother)

Your smile seems cooler
(like an empty mother)

Your pocket runs deeper
(like a broken teacher)

If I was you
I'd be better off.

Phase two: Angst/Self-loathing

If I wasn't me
I'd be much better off.

I'd ring true
(like the weekly preacher)

I'd jump for joy
(like the tied-down seeker)

I'd be free of a limp tongue
and a chest full of
nos

If I wasn't me
I'd be better off.

Phase three: Acceptance and self-adoration

If I were me
I'd be much better off.

I'd hug the betrayals
out of my lungs

I'd sing the praises of
life's good graces

I'd slip me on
like a new suit,
freshly pressed with hope

I am me.

I am me.

I am.

And I'm much better off.