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The Real Story Behind Being a Responsible Adult

May 20, 2021

There is an epidemic in the world of sensitive empaths and it’s not a virus. I hear this mantra time and time again from clients all over the world: It’s my fault. 

It’s my fault that I’m not in a relationship.

It’s my fault that I don’t have my dream job. 

It’s my fault that I can’t break out of my cycle of anxiety.

 

What you are really saying is: 

Something is wrong with me. 

I can’t have what I want. 

I don’t deserve it. 

I’m not worthy of xyz because it’s my fault, my fault, my fault.

Of course, I know that we are in the driver’s seat of our own life and we need to take action and be a willing participant in our own lives. But we don’t want to debilitate ourselves with overwhelming criticism and blame right out of the gate.  

Because what all these lovely sensitive souls do to themselves is take on extreme levels of  RESPONSIBILITY. 

I’m not talking about being responsible as an adult and paying your bills, taking care of dependents and helping out your community. 

I’m talking about the traditional definition from the dictionary of Responsibility: the state or fact of being accountable or to blame for something.

Sensitive empaths love to take the blame. Handing out free bushels of blame at the Farmer’s market? “I’ll take it!,” you shout enthusiastically!

Taking on responsibility for everyone around you (feelings, experiences, expectations) is a recipe for instant overwhelm. If you’ve been following me for mental health month in May for my Overcome Overwhelm series, this is definitely one of the factors for extreme and chronic overwhelm for empaths.

How much blame is yours to take? How much are you really responsible for?

I’m all for practicality, so let’s try an exercise: 

1. Write down all the things you feel responsible for on a piece of paper. This covers the conscious part. 

Now it gets interesting.

2. Write down all the things you feel guilty about even though you know you shouldn’t. This is the sticky part that keeps you spinning out of control with your overwhelm. 

3. Lastly, write down what you are actually willing to be responsible for. This can be very uncomfortable, but just the act of writing it down will provide fresh clarity and perspective. 

Keep this manifesto nearby and refer to it. Observe what shows up. See how the world slightly shifts when you step into your power and declare what you are willing to take on. 

Congratulations! You’re on the way to overcoming overwhelm! Let me know if this changed your view of things by dropping an emoji in the comments! Or share an example for bonus points :)

Receive PDF resources and guided meditations to help with the root causes of overwhelm for sensitive empaths like you when you sign up for my free series in May called Overcome Overwhelm here. It's not too late to catch up! Click here to join us:

https://www.trulyeleanor.com/overcomeoverwhelm

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